“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot

 I have motherhood totally figured out.  I get it right every time.  I’m so relieved I have all the answers.  It’s easy.  Umm, you’re laughing with me, right?!

While I still have more questions than answers, I think I’ve gathered enough street cred in my 9 years of being mama bear to come up with 10 ideas that may or may not make motherhood slightly smoother. 

1. Put Jesus 1st.  Really, the list could end here.   Doing anything in our own strength is futile.  Burn-out is on the horizon.  And without the Lord by our side, we’re doing it for ourselves and not a greater, more divine purpose.  What this looks like is carving out time, whether before dawn or during a midnight feeding or once the critters are asleep, to spend with the Creator.  Praying, listening, worshiping and reading His Word.  Daily.
2. Put your husband 2nd.  He is the one who’ll be with you once those fledglings leave.  He’s the reason you have those sweet babies.  His needs take precedence.  Model love for your offspring so that they know how to treat their future spouse.
3. Plan, plan, plan.  I’m type A so this is my natural inclination anyway, so maybe I’m pushing you creative types into a tailspin.  Don’t stop reading.  Nothing is more “fun” that realizing that you didn’t check the diaper bag as your child has a blowout at the mall.  Or when a certain 7 year old pokes a hole at the bottom of his smoothie-filled Styrofoam cup and there’s not a wipe or napkin to be found (not that this has EVER happened to me in my freaking brand-new minivan).   The thing with moms is, we never have a lot of time.  We WANT to do a lot of things, but don’t’ have the time to do it.  So take those pockets of minutes and plan.  As you’re changing that diaper, grab 3 and tuck them under your chin so you have a better chance of tossing them in that diaper bag.  Double every recipe so you have leftovers.  Keep an ongoing grocery list.  Lay out everyone’s outfits the night before.  Make your washing machine as the family hamper.  Use your calendar to remind yourself of everything so you can spend all your mental energy daydreaming about vacationing on a warm, sunny island.
4. Sleep.  We are so sleep-deprived.  I’m racking my brain trying to think of any time any friend has said she is well-rested.  But we need sleep.  If God rested on the 7th day of creation, we certainly should make time to just stop.  Naps are the best too, if you can somehow cram them into your week every now and then (I set my boys in front of the TV and go pass out for 25 minutes….don’t judge me).  Sleep resets hormones (bye bye, grouchy), makes you leaner (you can’t eat cookies while snoring), and slows down the aging process (wrinkles, take THAT!).
5. Exercise.  Hit the pavement with that stroller.  Race your kids down the street.  Play soccer in your yard.  Do push-ups during commercials.  Get your body moving so that you have energy to keep up with those ankle-biters.  You don’t have to run a marathon or grace the cover of Fitness magazine.  Your body is God’s temple and it needs maintenance.  Make time to move.
6. Play.  Take time for yourself.  No, really, do it.  Forget that “mommy guilt” nonsense and do things that make you happy.  You live once.  Every second of every day cannot and should not revolve around your minions.  We all live in the real world, so maybe Vegas trips can’t happen every weekend, but do something daily that makes you happy.  Paint your nails.  Clean out that drawer of random stuff for a sense of accomplishment.  Get fancy coffee.  Buy new socks.  If mama ain’t happy….right?
7. Pause.  Life as a mom involves juggling to the nth degree.  It’s not rocket-science hard; it’s a different kind of hard, isn’t it?  With a baby on the hip, a toddler on trantrum #13, forgetting to defrost meat for dinner, and realizing you may or may not have brushed your teeth today, a pause is in order.  In those moments when I’m on the edge of sanity and funny-farm-check-in, I stop.  Take 30 seconds, or maybe 15, to pray or do the Macarena or picture your first kiss with your baby daddy or scream into a pillow.  In that sliver of time, you can regain a perspective of “this too shall pass”.
8. Simplify.  In a perfect world, I’d write:  clean out your attic and garage, label your kids’ toy bins, and have a year’s worth of birthday cards lined up for all your loved ones.  In the words of Sweet Brown (my favorite YouTube sensation), “ain’t nobody got time fo dat.”  You’ll do that stuff when everyone’s 18 and you get to truly exhale.  Until then, pare down your life to necessities.  Make 2 meatloaves today so you can play Hungry Hippos the next time you dread cooking.  Lift weights for 15 minutes instead of doing the elliptical for an hour.   Give responsibilities to your children.  Learn to say “no.”
9. Be social.  Life is a string of stories and relationships.  As a new mom, I remember feeling isolated and stuck at home all day with a baby that needed all my time and attention.  How thankful I was to have scheduled playdates, church Bible studies, neighbors, and monthly Bunko with the girls.  Laughing with friends and family has a way of making your bonkers day/life seem comical.  This makes you a better mama.  Stay connected with others.
10. Because I love you, I’m stopping at 9 things.   Maybe this list in itself is overwhelming to you.  And as much as I enjoy being bossy, I’m going to attempt to be the cool professor that ends class 15 minutes early.  So there you go, you’ll be an even better mom if you follow my 9 suggestions.  Curtsy.

By Debbie