By Emily Saunders

I’m an only child.  It makes this precarious transition from Mom of 1 to Mom of 2 even more tumultuous as my brain and heart think about everything that’s about to take place. I didn’t ever have to “share” my parents with anyone (well… I take that back… there were always friends and family members at our house… always!) On one hand I am thrilled to watch my boys grow up together while on the other hand, I feel like I’m mourning a loss of something.  It’s hard to put my finger on… but it’s incredibly emotional and every time I allow myself to linger in that spot for a few minutes I get incredibly emotional.  What do I do when I feel emotional?  I pray and then I write… so here goes…

Dear Adler,

You’re such a big boy now!  A 3 year old who is about to become a big brother.  You’re so excited for Baby Hutch’s arrival that sometimes you cry when I tell you that you have to wait for a little while longer. I’m thrilled for your excitement.  Mommy and Daddy are so excited too!

Before baby Hutch arrives there are a few things I want to share with you:

I want to thank you for just being YOU.  You were my first-born.  You always will be. You’ve taught me how to be a Mama.  How to put another’s needs before my own at all hours of the day and night and in all circumstances.  Thank you for teaching me to be a little less selfish.  You changed everything that moment that you burst into our world.  The way I spend 90% of my time, my capacity to love, the things that are important to me, the messiness of our house and so much more.  Every. Single. Part. of my life changed and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Your words, thoughts, and actions are all very important.  While you’ll need to share Mommy’s time with Baby Hutch, I will ALWAYS have time to listen to you and for you to tell me stories.  I love your questions, your ideas, your creations, and your imagination.  I will still stoop down so we can talk while looking in the eyes.  I promise.

You’re so forgiving- thank you!  I’ve made so many first-time Mom mistakes, but you always forgive and love me anyway.  You roll with the punches- thanks for being so flexible and please teach your little brother to do the same.

I’m excited for you, my little social butterfly, to have a built in playmate.  I love when you tell me about all of the things you’re going to teach Baby Hutch.  You are going to teach him to play trucks, swords, and shooters.  You’re going to change his diapers and tickle his toes.  You’re going to protect him from scary things.  You even told me that you’re going to teach him about Jesus and how God protects us so that we don’t have to be afraid. I love how much you already love him!

You LOVE the “big kids” in our neighborhood, you look up to them and love how they include you in their play.  That’s how Hutch will look up to you.  He’s going to want to be and do everything that you do!  How cool!!!

It won’t always be easy, this big job of being a big brother!  There will be times that you want Mommy and Daddy to just pay attention to YOU.  There might even be some times that you want your baby brother to go away.  But you know what, those moments will make you more independent, stronger, and more considerate of others. Sharing and patience are both very valuable skills that will serve you well in life.

When you come to meet Baby Hutch at the hospital Mommy (and Daddy too) will likely cry (a lot).  These are happy tears.  My heart will burst in that moment when I see you hold him for the first time.  That first moment of coming together as a family of 4 will be one of the sweetest of my life.  It will be a new beginning.  It will start a new way of doing things.  Everything will change, but one thing won’t.  My love for you will only grow, it won’t get smaller.  God gave me SO MUCH love to share with you and every time I think there couldn’t be more, there is.

You are my first born and I love you to pieces!

Love,

Mommy