CAN WE FIND THE SWEET SPOT CALLED BALANCE IN MOTHERHOOD?

By Coach Debbie

I just woke up from a glorious nap.  A 19 minute nap.  I have learned, thanks to my litter of children, how to pass out instantly and wake up within minutes, refreshed and ready for the second half of the day.  I’m munching on cherry tomatoes and hummus as chicken sausages cook on the stove and my boys watch a movie.  I need to empty my dishwasher, or so says my sink full of dishes, and I have barely enough bare counter space for a cup of coffee to fit.  I’m now closing the lid on this hummus as I am totally capable of inhaling all 16 ounces.  There’s a real chance this article will take 28 hours to write as I keep yelling at my children to get off of each other.  Okay, one more bite of hummus and I MEAN it!

As moms I know that we have so much in common and yet our lives are so different when we zoom in on the details.  I put my kids to bed at 7, you wait until 8.  I spank when they misbehave, you put yours in time-out.  You give your kids only organic food, I am lucky if that happens once a week.

Here’s what matters:  finding what works for you.  Have you found that sweet spot called BALANCE?  Is it attainable?!

I’m no expert in anything, but I have a more eternal perspective now.  Losing my husband unexpectedly in 2012 rocked my world and everything that was stable and predictable.  I have learned that what matters most is not having a spotless house or kids with combed hair.

Here are some tricks to achieving (or getting closer to) MOMSANITY:  

1.  Put God first.  Time with Him in prayer and study and worship gets priorities right.  It helps the rest of the day fall into place.  I didn’t say the rest of your day will be filled with rainbows and butterflies and unicorns, but you’ll have a greater perspective on what matters.

2.  Put your Husband second.  Above the kids.  I know, one is grabbing your feet and one is hanging on your boob.  However, his needs have not changed and he needs attention and love and respect.  When he’s happy, he’s helpful.  This is not some manipulative tactic of how-to-get-your-man-to-finally-do-some-cleaning.  I’m saying, invest in him and there will be fruit.

3.  Ask for help.  With cooking, cleaning, childcare, errands, etc.   My neighbors and I often text each other when we’re at the grocery store to see if anyone needs anything; it’s awesome!  Your toddler can use baby wipes and clean door knobs.  Your elementary age  daughter can cut up veggies for chili.  Your teenager can clean your entire house if car keys are the end reward.  Your husband learns that by putting the kids to bed for you that you can grill 12 chicken breasts (instead of the usual 6) so that you’re ready for future meals.  No one can sleep for you or eat for you or exercise for you.  As Coach Emily told me, OUTSOURCING is a great way to get tedious tasks done.  My kids set the table, load and unload the dishwasher, put up clean laundry, feed the dog, vacuum, pick up toys and more.

SPEAKING OF KIDS AND FOOD, HERE’S MY TWO CENTS.

• COOK IN BULK.  MOST FOODS CAN REFRIGERATE/FREEZE WELL, SO DOUBLE EVERYTHING YOU MAKE TO SAVE TIME.
• HAVE YOUR KIDS HELP.  MY KIDS’ SNACKS ARE BASIC SO THAT THEY DON’T NEED ME.  NOTHING FANCY HERE.  FRUIT OR YOGURT OR CHEESE OR PEPPERONI OR NUTS.  THESE ARE THINGS IN ARM’S REACH FOR THEM (LOW IN THE FRIDGE OR ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER) SO I CAN KEEP DOING SOMETHING MOTHERLY LIKE PAINTING MY TOENAILS.
• KEEP IT SIMPLE.  COOK MEALS WITH LESS THAN 5 INGREDIENTS.  I’M ALWAYS PRESSED FOR TIME SO I USUALLY GO FOR A MEAT WITH VEGGIES AND CALL IT DINNER.  EVERY NOW AND THEN I’LL MAKE STUFFED PEPPERS OR CHILI.

4.  Take time for yourself.   Chores can wait.  Exercise for 20 minutes at home (shameless plug for the Momsanity Sisterhood here.  We offer workouts as fast as 5 minutes that burn fat and build muscle fast so you don’t waste time with exercise.).  Take a nap like your friend Debbie does.  Go on dates.  Go shopping.  Have coffee with a friend.

5.  Have grace with yourself.  Let’s be real, unless you have a staff at your house, you’ll never get it all done.  Laundry will pile up, kids will get hungry, dishes will be filthy, etc.  Your to-do list will never ever ever go away.  Ever.  Dry cleaning will be picked up only  to realize you have to put gas in the car only to realize that your son’s lunch box was left in the back of your mini-van that has a distinct smell of rotting fruit.  So learn to accommodate and adjust.  Shrug your shoulders, pour a glass of wine, prop your feet up on your back porch and listen to classical music.  Be happy in the chaos.  Yes, you can.  And yes you should.  At this point, I’m realizing I wrote this article to myself and you all are just along for the ride. I’m pretty sure I’ll have everything figured out the day my twins head to college.  Learn to just LET IT GO.  Don’t multitask too much; you’re not as good at it as you think you are.

Hardest job in the world:  motherhood.

Best job in the world:  supermodel, I mean, motherhood.

You’re doing a great job, Mama.  Pat yourself on the back and focus on what you’re doing WELL already!  Okay, my sausages are cooked, the movie is almost over, and I have GOT to get this hummus into the fridge!

How do you find the ever-elusive BALANCE in your world?  Share with us, we’d love to learn!