Guest Post by Katie Moosbrugger and Triad Moms On Main

I have a love-hate relationship with my children’s birthday parties. I absolutely love the idea of organizing a magical, awe-inspiring event that brings together family, friends and classmates for fun and fairytale endings. But I absolutely dread the costs of doing everything, the pressures to top the preceding year’s party, and keeping on top of the etiquette that goes along with it all. I had no idea there would be so much confusion to consider after my daughter’s first birthday. So, today I am calling on you for advice and tips for – not just me – but anyone out there trying to sort through the nuances of birthday party planning and etiquette.

As far as the actual party goes, we’ve set the bar pretty low in our family. That’s worked out great for our budgets (maybe not so much for our kids – ha, ha – actually I have to boast they’ve all been great) but we realize the bar can only go up from here. For the most part, all of our birthday parties have been at home or at a park, except for one year at Chuck E Cheese. I know – gasp! But for a two-year-old birthday party, it was fantastic! The cost is extremely reasonable to rent a table and purchase pizza, drinks and birthday cake for a party of adults and children. There is live entertainment, your child gets recognized, and there are non-stop ride-on toys available for all ages. The best part is the low maintenance and the low stress – you just can’t beat that. So, yes, I recommend Chuck E. Cheese!

However, now my daughter is an “official” preschooler and has lots of friends and gets invited to lots of parties. So this year we are ready to raise our bar (wahoo!). But then the question becomes how high? Who do you invite? Do you invite everyone in your child’s class, or in my daughter’s case, just the girls? Can you mix neighborhood pals in with classmates, or will someone feel left out? Do you extend invitation to siblings? Should you consider the time of the party so as to not interfere with younger siblings’ nap times? Do you invite one or both parents? And what’s the official “drop off” age for birthday parties?

I may be in my fifth year of party planning, but as you can see, the questions never seem to end.

Then there are the gifts. As a party attendee, what is the appropriate amount you should spend? I usually target between $10 and $15. Is that too high or too low? And what if you can’t attend, should you still send a gift?

As the host, I am always torn on whether or not to say on the invitation “Please No Gifts.” But then I think how birthday parties, in all honesty, are all about the gifts for children of these ages. Truth be told, I love shopping for children’s’ toys way more than children’s’ clothes – so I have never had a problem with bringing a gift. My children love receiving gifts (of course); however, I would never expect anyone to bring a gift to my child’s birthday party. So do you make that statement on your invitation, or do you just leave it be?

I’ve also been invited to parties where gifts are donated to charities. I love that idea, but then I also question at what age does it work best? I think it’s essential to teach our children the importance of charity and giving, but I can promise you that the concept of donating birthday presents would not go over well with my children. Not at this age anyway. I am still working on how to persuade them to help me collect toys – toys that haven’t been touched in months – for Goodwill donations.

So there you go. I have lots of questions. Perhaps it’s because I just want the day to be perfect for the birthday kid – whether it’s mine or someone else’s. What have been your experiences? Do you have any advice, etiquette rules, or opinions to share?