By Emily Saunders

Most of our Momsanity readers are in the throes of motherhood.  From newborns to toddlers to preschool to elementary school to the tween years and teenagers and college students…. it’s tough stuff (or so I hear   ).   Often times the every day demands of feeding, bathing, clothing, driving, shuffling, disciplining, teaching….. etc. our children can lead to having very little left for our spouse.   Additionally, the strain of work stress, travel, office politics, finances, caring for family members and kids and much more can really drain BOTH spouses.  How in the world is marriage to be our #2 relationship priority (after God of course) as Ephesians 5:25 commands:  Husbands Love Your Wives (and visa versa) as Christ Loved the Church?

It’s HARD to put that much effort into your marriage.  We want things to just be lovey and happy and perfect and for them to read our minds and know our needs.  It’s just not the way it works…. So… how can we make the quality time happen when QUANTITY time is just soooo hard to come by?

Some ideas:

1. Make time. I don’t have TIME is the number one excuse for most things and from most people.  Our time is limited so priorities become even more important.  Don’t let your marriage slip on the list.

2. Have lunch together. Meet during the day for a meal and conversation. This doesn’t have to expensive or unhealthy. Take your sack lunch to a nearby park instead of heading to a restaurant.

3.  Swap the Kids.  Twice per month swap kids with another couple so you can have a night out (or in) ALONE!  This need not be expensive or fancy.  Pack a picnic or do one of your favorite activities from when you were dating.

4. Take a walk together.  You KNOW how Momsanity feels about leisure walks. Great way to unwind and catch up after a busy day at work.

5. Get up and go to bed at the same time. Try to get on the same sleeping schedule. Children make this difficult.  Beginning and ending the day together is special.  Even if it can’t happen all the time it’s a great goal.

6. Set aside time for daily conversation/discussion.  When and where is not important- the time itself IS.  Use a devotion book or a book of questions.

9. Play.  Cards, board games, question games.  Whatever.  Laugh.  Have Fun.

10. Spend Time Learning About his Hobbies.  Golf, football, fishing, video games, yard work, camping.  Be interested.  He’ll love it!

11. Go to bed early once per week…… no more explanation needed.

12.  Compliment Your Husband.  Catch him doing something really well.  Be specific.  “You handled that situation with a lot of humility.  I’m proud to be your wife.”.  Men love to hear and feel respect!  It’s the married equivalent of flirting.

13  Text During the Day.  Tell him you’re thinking about him or wish him luck on a big work project.  Text him a cute picture of you and your kids.

14. Read and memorize Scripture together.  There may be no better way to connect than through God’s Word.

15. Have a candlelight dinner. Wait until the kids go to bed and get out the table cloths, “nice” dishes, and candles.

16.  Hold hands often. When kids hang on us all day we sometimes don’t want to be touched.  Do it anyway.

17. Pray together. Pray for your marriage. Pray for one another. Pray for you children. Also, be sure to thank God every day for the blessing of your husband.