by Coach Debbie

I’m one of THOSE moms who complains about homework.  I’ll spare you my rant of negativity because the only way to remove it from my life is homeschooling and I don’t homeschool.   Pushing aside my feelings about tasks that are time-consuming and potentially ineffective, homework will always exist.  Yes, I am a former school teacher (and I don’t hate teachers).

I have four children who are in high school, middle school, AND elementary school.  So I have not yet “arrived” in my parenting journey where everyone has flown the coop.  But I’d like to offer my 2 cents in the homework area so that moms can cope with the daily 3:00 grind!

One of the schools where I taught had a theme of the Multiple Intelligences (Google it) which basically says we all learn in different ways.  Some of us are music-driven, others of us are more mathematically-inclined in our learning.  It’s a pretty cool philosophy so that’s the angle I’m coming from as I share my thoughts on after-school assignments.

Each child is different (you know this), so how about approaching homework in the form of “stations” so that each child’s preferences are catered to.  This is an opportunity for you to sit down with your child and ask THEM how they want their homework station arranged.  The two of you can work together designing a way that they will do homework faster and more effectively (aka “less complaining to Mom”).

Here are some questions to discuss:

·         Where do you prefer to sit when working?  A desk/table, bean bag, floor, couch, or bed?  Inside or outside?

·         What kind of lighting do you like when working?  Bright, dim, medium, or sunlight?

·         How do you feel about noises when working?  Does chaos help or hinder you?  Would playing music help or hinder you (and if you like it, how loud?)?  When I’m cooking near you as you write, does that help or hinder you?  If the TV is on, will it distract you or motivate you?  Is silence best?

·         Who should be near you when working?  Do you prefer to be alone?  Do you want me seated next to you (please say no)?  Do you want family near you but not too close?

·         How does activity while working sound to you?  Do you want to chew gum or on a pen cap?  Do you want to roll on my foam roller?  Do you want to squeeze a stress ball?  Do you want to have a snack during homework time?

This list may spark even more conversations between the two of you, so it’s a cool way for you to connect and to help homework have less dread so there’s more free time to play.  Obviously each child you have will have different ways of wanting to get things done. 

I let my boys have freedom.  I only help when absolutely needed as I do not do guided homework.  I’ve found my kids scattered everywhere on our property.  Some kids go on the back deck, others close themselves in our garage, one kid prefers his room, and another can be found either on our front sidewalk or on the hood of our minivan (yes, the hood).  Whatever gets it done, right?

The best part is, I do not get involved unless I have to.  I basically ask if each kid has homework; if their answer is yes, then I tell them to do it.  The end.  Let them struggle.  Let them learn.  Let them carry a messy worksheet back to the teacher so that (s)he can understand where her/his student was not getting the information.   Instead of helicopter parenting, I have to let it go (insert “Frozen” soundtrack theme playing in the background).  I convey the message, “You are capable.  I know you can do this.  I believe in you.”