I just want my pants to fit. In one motion, I want to be able to slide, zip, button. Without having to do lunges and squats. Without waiting for 2 o’clock when they’ve stretched out enough to have circulation return.” That was me two years ago.

Let me back up. I was a sugar junkie as a kid. I mean, I lived for Little Debbies and Oreos. “Fun” cereal was expected and savored. 4 kids and thirty-some years later, I was in shock as to why I had gained 8 pounds in a year. Really?! My husband informed me that my “teenage boy” diet just possibly might could maybe be the reason. He was right. But I was not into anything green so I came up with the ‘perfect’ plan. I know, I’ll just eat fewer calories and exercise more. So I told myself 1700 calories seemed like a good number and I got on that treadmill like it was my job. So now I could add cranky and tired to my list of self-complaints (though I did “save” enough calories for Lucky Charms for my nighttime snack….magically delicious indeed).

Then I met a girl named Emily (as in Momsanity’s Coach Emily). She changed my life. A 180. The kind of change that broke me down to my core and even made me shed tears. She said she could help me slide, zip and button those jeans and even do it without starving. It almost sounded like an infomercial except her physique proved it could be done. She was sweet enough to share her wisdom with me about exercising SMARTER not longer. She told me to eat MORE (oh, that’s the best news ever).

Dying to addiction to twinkies and chips

I’ll be honest, when she told me what I had to start eating, I cried. Tears running down my face, as if facing some kind of death sentence. And it was a death sentence. It was dying to self. Dying to addiction to twinkies and chips. Could I do it? Would I do it? Was the need for change going to outweigh the challenge? The next day I committed. I don’t know what ground turkey is but I guess I’ll find out. Where do they sell oat bran?!

The other side of the body-change coin was exercise. I’d taken Pilates, Body Pump, done some nautilus weight machines. Emily told me to do all kinds of weighted exercises with dumbbells. What, in the MAN section of the gym?! No girls in pink are allowed back there! I tiptoed back there, of course off to the side hoping to never ever be noticed. And I did the most taxing workout ever. Sweating like no lady should. Breathing heavy like I had just climbed the Statue of Liberty. Could I do this? Would I stick with this?

Let me be very real. My first two weeks of turning the corner to “Fat Loss” lane were similar to going to drug rehab. I was physically going through withdrawal. Cranky. Anxious. Craving. What a lesson to learn in life. I prayed that the Lord would help me through each hour. Why are donuts NOT on this freakin diet?! It was brutal.

But I’m stubborn and wanted change enough that I ate the fruit, the salads, the chicken. This was the spark that would lead to jeans being looser. Success! I’m hooked.

After that it was smooth sailing and I ate flawlessly every day after. The End.

Get real. Realizing that you don’t just “like” food but actually “love” food is so much fun. Please reread that with sarcasm. I learned a lot about myself. Food wasn’t fuel. Food was comfort. I had a bad day so I deserve chocolate chip cookies. I had a great day so I should celebrate by ordering pizza. I was bored so snacking could fill the time.

Have you ever read The Jungle? It’s a book with graphic descriptions of the meat-packing industry. Here’s a juicy morsel: “the meat will be shoveled into carts and the man who did the shoveling will not trouble to lift out a rat even when he saw one.” It’s like how we all know what goes into making a hot dog, yet we still smother it with mustard and cram it in. We know we shouldn’t, and yet we do it anyway. That’s the nature of temptation.

how we are designed by God to long for more

Want to read a book that won’t induce vomiting or force you into vegetarianism? Made to Crave. This one teaches how we are designed by God to long for more. We are supposed to crave Jesus and all that is holy. Not cheese puffs, though I could eat a handful right now. And that takes discipline that, in order to be successful, only He can get us through.

So I started seeing my cranky sugar deprivation as a way to lean on the Lord. He is my milk and honey. He is the bread of life. He is living water. I decided God had been the void I would try to fill with edible treats; didn’t work. I must press into Him and ask for His help to eat in a way that would honor my body, His temple. He can get me from temptation to victory. He wants to.

Here’s today’s last nugget. You know what else helps with accountability? Freakin kids. My son thinks it is hilarious that he can eat candy as I crunch away at some broccoli. And when I try to sneak some m&m’s, he’s bad cop. “Mo-om, you know you aren’t allowed to eat that stuff.” Thank you, Pumpkin. And it may or may not be true that he and I once wrestled on the couch as he pried Hershey kisses out of my hands. Oh God bless that kid.