When I was 9 years old, I got a bike for my birthday.  The catch is, I didn’t WANT a bike for my birthday.  I didn’t ask for a bike, I didn’t like riding bikes.  And yet, there it was in all of its blue glory and I faked a smile and thanked my family for getting me a bike.

That’s my Mother’s Day this year.  It’s my first Mother’s Day as a widow.  There will be no breakfast in bed, no sleeping in, no “thanks for bearing our children” phrases.  I did not want this.  I did not ask for this.  I do not like this.  And yet, it is my reality and there’s a chance I may fake a smile and thank everyone for wishing me a happy Mother’s Day.

Is this Mother’s Day tough for you?  A little bit of dread, a lot of wishing you could fast-forward to Monday?  I started thinking about you and wondering what makes this Sunday un-fun.  I’ve conjured up a list of potential situations you are facing.

Maybe this Mother’s Day you are:

• Separated from your husband, wondering how your future will unfold.
• Recovering from a miscarriage or reliving past ones.
• Missing a child who now resides in heaven.
• Divorced from the father of your children.
• Struggling with fertility issues that pain you monthly.
• Hoping to one day know your biological mother.
• Putting fresh flowers at your husband’s grave.
• Wondering if you will ever reconcile with your mom.
• Hoping your adoptive children will truly know how deeply you love them.
• Wishing your mama was still alive.
• Just. Plain. Tired.
   

Do me a favor.  Don’t gloss over it.  Your heart aches and that’s real and it hurts.  But don’t dwell in it either.  Maybe you’ll get that positive pregnancy test, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you’ll meet your birth mom, maybe not.  What is helping me this Mother’s Day is knowing that I am loved by 4 beautiful boys who resemble their daddy.  I am so burdened, I am so blessed.

Philippians 4:8 says, “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  Let’s take the perspective of what is good in our lives.  No fake smiles; okay maybe a little fake smile as you check out at the grocery store and the cashier has no clue that you are ready for this particular holiday to pass, bless her heart.  Instead, let’s start a list of blessings.

Here’s Debbie’s list.

• I have 4 boys who will one day buy me a cherry red Ferrari and a condo in the Caribbean.
• We have a roof over our heads and laughter echoes often.
  My mom, the one who thought I’d want a bike, babysits for free (and claims to enjoy it).
• Jesus calls me friend.
• Girlfriends buy me Starbucks cards and tell me I’m okay.
   

I think the world of you.  You have a heart that gushes love to the nth degree.  You are made in our Savior’s image.  You are important and worthy.  Seek out the silver lining of today.

–Debbie