By Emily Saunders

Originally I planned to write today about nutrition during the first trimester of pregnancy, but my plans were suddenly changed when almost two weeks ago at my routine first trimester NT scan everything began to unravel.

The ultrasound technician noted that the baby was measuring small without a lot of concern, but a few minutes later the doctor came in and started throwing out things like “slow growth”, “fluid around the neck”, “intestines outside of the body” and much more.  I tried to process it, but looked at her stunned.  I had just watched my baby turning wiggling all over on the screen and all of a sudden the news that you pray will never happen to you.

I numbly sat in a waiting room waiting for my husband to arrive and to speak with the genetic counselor.   She was very loving, specific, and answered many of our questions.  We have no answers.  There are no answers at 12 weeks.  There are miracles.  There are scenarios that are better and those that are devastating.

We decided on a blood test that will help us figure out the likelihood of chromosomal defects that takes 10 days.  Those results are likely today.  I would love your prayers.   The next step will be an anatomy scan in two more weeks and then an ECHO of the heart two weeks later.

Now we wait.  We trust.  We pray.

I am thankful beyond words for the outpouring of prayers, love, support, hugs, kindness, meals, texts, phone calls, stories of miracles and of broken hearts.  I am thankful for advanced medical care.  I am so thankful.

My friend told me last week not to feel badly for feeling upset.  I have a mother’s heart and it aches for my baby.  It doesn’t mean my faith is wavering, it means I love my baby.  That was so comforting to me.

My favorite Bible verse is Philippians 4: 6-7:  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So now I cast my worries upon Him.  I feel them, yet I cast them.  I surrender.  I pray for a miracle.  I thank Him for my many blessings.  His peace has covered me.

I do not know what the future holds, but as I await that first phone call- the first set of answers- I pray to be patient.  I pray that his peace envelops me.

I pray the same for you- whatever mountain you face today.