Amy Keffer is a vivacious member of our Momsanity Sisterhood who not only offers well-timed encouragement, but also wisdom from experiences.  Here at Momsanity we do not have “perfection” as our goal, but instead focus on “progress.”  Check out just how REAL Amy is and how she makes all this fitness and nutrition stuff WORK!

My 8-year-old daughter, Emily, is one smart cookie. She knew over 300+ ASL signs before turning 3, was reading Chronicles of Narnia in kindergarten, and just told me that my hair is a “bit more russet” than hers.

Given her vibrant personality and natural gifts, I was thrilled when she wanted to start TaeKwonDo just like her cousins. The skills, discipline, and camaraderie were a perfect fit for her nature, and she told me during her second trial lesson that “I was made for this”.  Yes!

My delight turned to surprise and sorrow when Emily abruptly announced that she didn’t want to sign up for real. What had changed? She said very little about it but repeatedly claimed she didn’t want to do it anymore.  After a good bit of thought, I realized what the glitch was. Emily was doing beautifully in her beginner class filled with the cutest kids imaginable in their little uniforms and belts. Ah—those belts were of different colors and had multi-colored stripes. Emily’s was plain white. And my smart and talented child balks at anything she doesn’t instantly master.

Being the awesome mom I am, I pointed out to Emily that each of those students started in the same exact place she was. These stripes, and eventually the belts, are earned over time and with effort. She’d undoubtedly get there as they had! But to my young girl, who usually masters things instantly, the road ahead was intimidating enough that she closed the door to a wonderful opportunity.

As much as I wonder how she could not realize what she was turning down, I realize that I do the exact same thing. Learning last summer that I was allergic to various foods including gluten and dairy was a complete shock to me. These were staples of my diet. And I am what could kindly be called a veggie virgin. I was and am deficient in a host of vitamins and hormones. I started trying to understand this new lifestyle my integrative doctor wanted me to follow, and it was like trying to drink from a firehose. And given that I don’t tend to do things halfway, it was completely overwhelming.

So over this past year, I would notice the other moms on Momsanity who were ROCKING THE HOUSE (I’m looking at you, amazing Lauren Hurst!) and posting their awesome workouts and life changes, and I felt like a colossal fraud. I started avoiding posting or even interacting with the other moms because I just didn’t feel like I deserved to be there. Same thing with the Total Body Transformation. Since I wasn’t knocking it out of the park, I pulled the throttle back and hid in shame.

Really.

And then I (very recently) realized that God isn’t laughing at me. He isn’t judging how pathetic I seem compared to the other women at different stages of the journey. His Father’s heart is the model for ours—the ones that exult when our children scoot around the edges of furniture, take tentative steps, and fall on their diaper-clad bottoms. He’s not comparing them to His other children who are running 26.2 that weekend; He is delighting in the wobbly step and knowing that each one of these continues to build the foundation for what is to come. And yes, that includes the steps that wind up with us on our bums.

For people like me, wanting to be really good at everything I tackle can bring a boatload of misery. I’m learning that perfection can be the enemy of excellence… and I don’t want to miss out on the good stuff simply because it wasn’t perfection! I’ve mentioned before to other Sisters that the little changes DO matter over the long haul, just as a one-degree change in an aircraft’s vector sends it to a destination hundreds of miles away from its original plan. And this matters! God’s grace in our spiritual lives also extends to the ways we’re learning to care for the bodies He gave us… and this is a great opportunity for us to learn to apply it to ourselves and to one another.

So yes, I’ve made some positive changes since last summer. Am I where I want to be? No. Have I mastered all of the things that need improvement? Heck no. Do I need to cower in shame? Girl, that’s a lie from the Enemy and I’m old enough now to realize it. I won’t sabotage what I HAVE accomplished because of not feeling worthy. Eyes anywhere other than my own “paper” only results in anxiety and eclipses the light God is shining on the path we are each on. Our journeys are unique, they are all entwined with our spiritual and emotional selves as well, and it’s between us and our endlessly gracious Lord. So let’s ask for a fresh anointing of His spirit on this path, stand alongside one another, and honor each step. Even when it sometimes ends with us on our bum.

And yes, I will continue to offer the opportunity for TaeKwonDo classes to my little overachiever.